Ughhhh!I hate it when things don't work my way...
Now before I start ranting about my miserable life(again!)let me enlighten you all on my olfactory organ.my nose.
My nose is a rather sensitive little thing...(though i have doubts regarding it being "small"..its rather big...and cringed..and, i suspect, a bit crooked too...but woteva..that's not the point..that's how my nose is and that's that.hrmmph!)ya!so as I was saying..my nose is one hell of a sensitive thing..its prone to dust allergies..one swish of a broom before my nose and I would get a sneezing feat within a split second's time...
Now, I didn't get into a dusting spree..if that's what you've been deducing from what I just said...
Nope sir...nothing of that sort.I was having a most amazingly boring day(boring..monotonous..but NOT miserable,mind you)till this mishap came knocking on my front door and,the prepostorous little moron that I am,I gently let it in...
arrghh!there I was scrubbing my face with a 'gentle' face wash till some of the soap suds conveniently got into my nose and before I knew it, I had started sneezing...and believe you me..I still am..and its been a good 4 hours since the mishap took place...and whattdoyouknow...there's no stopping me..I'm sneezing away to glory...blurred vision,running nose,concerned mother in tow...Life's been SO eventful in the past few hours...scowl...
Tried aroma therapy(didn't work)...tried listening to mellow music(didn't work)..tried distracting myself by watching telly(didn't work)..finally mum suggested "blog koro,na?"(does she know me or what?) and that,my fellow compassionate bloggers,is what I've been trying to do for an hour now...
I'll try getting some sleep now(if my blessed nose lets me,that is...considering the kind of mercy it bestows on me once in a while)
[p.s:-and whoever came up with the tag line.."gentle" face wash for gentle skin...wait till I recover..I'm gonna sue all of you..I swear...bloody liars!]

The sky's almost invisible from my verandah...you have to virtually crane your neck to catch a glimpse of the sky or count the stars adorning the velvet night sky...
I like my verandah otherwise...its pretty much non descript,what with a couple of chairs and a colossal pile of old yellow newspapers and dog-eared magazines stashed at one of the farthest corners..its one of those small nooks in the entire household which I can conveniently call 'my space'...
Ever since we moved to this place in 2000, the verandah is one of the places I've spent most of my time in...(another deliberate reason for this being the poor ventilation in my room..) the verandah has been my favourite hang out zone..my den..my abode..my whatever...
and unlike the usual ones, this one opens out to our backyard..overlooking which is a humongous garden and a shallow mucky pond behind it...you get the picture...your desperate endeavours to catch hold of another homo sapien are all going to turn futile...however hard may you try...
This is precisely why I adore this spot even more...one can spend hours in here..without being irked by the presence of another individual...and blissfully while away all his time gaping at the exotic birds and cranes that flock to the garden every morning.
Its one of the most wonderful sights...ever!!Watching the parrots and kingfishers and gaang shalik and haari chachas...the sparrows pecking on the papayas and mangoes..and the outrageous maali bhai shoo-ing them away with a stick!

Now!Doesn't it all seem like a dream?And to think that this place is positioned right in the heart of South Kolkata..My!My!We really are lucky!

I was perched on the JU bridge when it started raining today...tiny beads of rain trickling down your upturned face has to be one of the most ethereal experiences ever...
It didn't rain much to wet my hair today..just enough to wash off my fatigue...
I'm going to sail a boat the next time it rains...

Yet another non descript day of my existence...yet another brick in the wall...lethargen engulfing my body and soul...seeping into my whole being like some deadly virus...
uncanny how we make a zillion plans while the exams are under way...and how they never work out once the exams get over....
today was extremely humid-hot-sultry-i-dunno-monotonous....and uneventful.
I'm turning lazydumbstupidslowretard.
and I can't stop myself from asking people to treat me...what's disconcerting in this case is that they do give in ..and i end up hogging a lot more than my system can take(or rather, should take) which in turn makes me feel pukish(which is worse than throwing up..it never happens anyway...its just the nausea...)but I keep doing it anyway...
my face is breaking into pimples again..ughhh!i hate summer..and I loathe this humidity..and I absolutely HATE oily skin.
I think I'm gonna go to college everyday..oh well!! I've nothing better to do...and I think I'm in love with the krishnachura gachh overlooking the jheel...I kept looking at it the whole day.sigh.
Oh!and I'm having this recurrent overwhelming urge to get my nose pierced...I kept thinking of it the other day...I dunno..guess I've been gripped by the desi fever big time...and maybe..may...beee...if this persists I'll probably do get my nose pierced...
I had this fetish for tattooes way back in my secondary school days...that was before i realised the kind of pain one has to endure in order to get oneself tattooed...its just nosepiercefetish now...secretly hoping that this,too,will pass...I seriously don't want to go for something that I'll repent for later on...
and I'm so totally in love with my brown eye pencil...
I know this is turning into some extremely girly incoherent ramble kind of a post...but that's exactly how my mood is right now...incoherence is profound. inane...yet so so profound.
and I can't stop humming "Crush" by Mandy Moore...this happens to be one of those phases when my bouts of cynicism just goes overboard.

I wanna paint the world yellow...with specks of pink and blue strewn all over.

I love the smell of wet hair...not the water-trickling-down-wet...but the damp,moist kinda wet...
I find it very intoxicating...like the smell of moist earth after a heavy shower...its got this mild aroma in it...mild,yet so strong...
I like it when the rain soaks my hair leaving it all frizzy and unkempt...
I wish it rains again today...I wanna wet my hair in the rain...again!

it rained today...
large drops of rain that fell on my face...soaking my hair...unleashing the child lurking in some deep corner inside me...it had been playing truant for some time...till it got caught in the midst of todays torrential shower...i have put it in my treasure chest and tucked it away in a dungeon...
there..now that's done.
now for the chocolate icecream and milk pudding...ahh!bring them on!

psychedelic dreams...fragments of my warped imagination...and a warm concoction of sweet remembrances called Kolkata...all this...that...and much more...much,much more...

loved yesterday for everything...for the lazy breeze that brushed past me...dabbing a bit of its care free essence on me...loved yesterday for it helped me fall in love with myself...fall in love with the city...for the nth time...loved yesterday for the mellow baanshir awaj that's still reverberating inside me...for that mindblowing natok at Academy that stirred the dormant conciousness within me...for the walk back to the Exide bus stop...that walk past Rabindra Sadan...Nandan...past that urchin,squatting on the pavement outside Nandan...playing the most heart wrenching tune in his baanshi...it was almost ten in the night then...and I wished I could stay there forever...

I've never felt so emancipated as I feel now...yesterday will live with me forever...that walk...baanshir awaj...Sahajiyadir obhinoy...I won't be able to forget these...however hard may I try...

"keu gaan gaye keu gaan shone eta ekta
kothay sure kacche ashar chesta
majhkhane achhe lenden achhe poisha
eta kachhe ashar bhalobashar byabsha

keu boi lekhe keu boi pore keu porena
keu porte boshle ektuo norechorena
keu porate porate nijei porte parena
ami chini emon onek jara
o aa ko khho horsho-i ki jane na

tumi natok cinema boimela choshe jachho
tomar moner mathar kkhideta metachho
keu khawachhe ar tumi pran bhore khachho
tomar kheye ar kheyi-r bongshota barachho

keu beshi khay karu khide payna
keu sostar kono kichhui khete chayna
keu onek khey korchhe khawar bayna
ami chini emon onek jara
saradin kichhui khete payna

ami gaan likkhi ami gaan gai eta rojgar
keu ticket katey amar gaaner jolshar
karo gaan dami karo gaan sosta
keno bechte chayna konodin gaan tar

keu alta beche keu beche ayna
keu sohoje kono kicchui bechte chayna
keu bechar moto kichhui khuje payna
ami chini emon onek jader esob kono kichhui eshe jayna..."

radio stations can be sucha major turn off,man!!
when would they understand that there is more to music than just himmesh reshamiya(i probably got the spelling wrong...but i don't bloody care:[ )and his ever so nauseating nasal tera suroooor....disgusting how he keeps droning on and on and on...
i wish the radio people had better tastes...
haven't heard anjan dutt's bondhutter hoyna podobi in a reeeeeeeaaallly long time...could anyone spare his/her c.d??
pleeeaaassshhhe?(doleful-innocent-eyes-with-batting-eyelids)

if there was this one female I'd NEVER think twice before changing my sexual preferences for...it has to be Meg Ryan..hands down...
aaah!gawd..isn't she a total babe??
Meg,if you are reading this...I Love You....mmmmuuuuaah!!















[to all those sniggering behind my back...gah!my babe rocks!!!anyone who disagrees can go get their eyes checked,their neck wrung,their throats slit,their arms slashed...you get my point..you love my babe,or you go drown yourself

when i first started my blog i intended to make it somekind of an insight to the life and times of the individual i am...
there were these stupid myths about me being the jester who cracks jokes 24*7
i guess the myth is broken...rather shattered...by now!and i must say i am more than happy.relieved,so to speak...imagine being deemed something that is not even half as much your identity...not even close...imagine the frustration when people don't understand you,atall...or even try understanding you...i'm happy I'm out of it...or atleast partially out of it...and thanks to my blog...the job's been easier...
but in the process i have bored people enough...i mean who cares about how screwed up you are...maybe some of them genuinely do...but after a while it just gets boring...monotonous...i get the feeling...its like you can't really relate to that person anymore...uncanny how i got transformed from the resident buffoon..to the tragedy queen...i agree i wanted to come out of the former's skin but I HAD NO INTENTION OF BECOMING THE LATTER..good heavens NO!!
it took me sometime to realise that i wasn't really liking what i was doing to myself...indulging oneself to sink in his own melancholy is not that great an idea...and so i resolved i won't blog until i came out of it...i did go to other's blogs..even left a comment or two here and there...but blog I didNOT...(smug smile)and now here i am..can't really say i am prancing with joy right now...but it feels better than it felt before....wheeeeee!(jesus christ...i can't even contrive happiness..gah!)
so there,to all those people who coaxed and cajoled me to stop posting such depressing posts,those who dubbed me an arunava clone(ugh!) and all those who mailed me to get blogging again..."here i am...this is me...there's nowhere else on earth i'd rather be..."
yeah baby:P

had this really weird dream last night...saw myself jumping off the english ledge...but the fall seemed to last for eternity...and i think i saw myself wearing some cheap red lacey stuff with lots of mirrorwork done on them...(i mean who wears such stuff,anyway?)...but the point is that i kept falling for a really long time...although i remember i took off from the first floor...so i had this stupid dream.period. but the point is that i really can't get it out of my head...its driving me insane...i mean,you tell me how long does it take for a person to fall???and whatever was i doing in that bizarre outfit,anyway??heck!shooo weird thoughts...just shooooooo!!!
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I'm turning into a resident groaner,brooder of sorts...sulked for a few days for not having made it to "midsummer night's dream"...bad mouthed myself for living such a non descript life...surely i deserve better...i could have made it to the play...i "could have" done a lot many things...i "could have"....but i did NOT... gah!!!
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and I'm starting to hate maa for making matters worse for me...i wish she would stop hitting me below the belt...sometimes i wonder whether she really knows me at all?or even bothers to find out...i wouldn't have really cared had she let me be instead of picking after me...
and the heat is just getting unbearable now...its somekind of an inter related chain of circumstances...if something has to go wrong,everything goes awry all at the same time!!!
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and suddenly I'm hungry for love...not the holding-hands-whispering-sweet-nothings-mush-mush....not that....something more meaningful than what I'm into right now...ineffeble...plain...simple...and yet so pure...so surreal...ethereal...
guess I'm asking for a little too much...that kind of thing doesn't even exist...gah!!
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