I'm screwed...
Barely a month left for the end sem and I haven't done half as much studying as I intended to do(rather,resolved to do)...gah!who am I kidding?I bet I haven't even done the barest minimum studies any pupil with average intellect needs to do to dodge a suppli...heck!I'm screwed.BIG TIME!!!
As if this wasn't enough to bog me down...my cousin's wedding had to get fixed and its happenning this april.Now let me tell you what I'm not.I'm NOT the pretentious bitch who plasters that fake smile on her face and sheepishly grins at acquaintances on being introduced at biyebaris.I have tried doing that...I've tried telling myself that its going to be over soon and I would again be back to my own space tomorrow...but its never worked and I've failed miserably everytime...
Let's face it.I cannot be a hypocrite and say I'm doing great when I'm clearly dying of claustrophobia...
I'm not extremely pally-pally with my cousins...being the youngest in the family I've always had problems communicating with them...I was "way too babyish for them" before...I guess I'm way too yuppy by their standards now...so there!!
And the only person who could really make things better and less boring for me wouldn't be here for sometime now...(i miss you,dada!)The wedding's on the 20th of this month...the whole family,I'm calculating,would be agog with biye songkranto activities from 19 to the 23rd...I'm having this overwhelming urge to run away and take refuge somewhere for these few days...anything to save me from this hypocrisy...letsee...
Oh!and I've a project to submit and yet another viva this monday...its on gupta dynasty and feudalism...I still haven't got hold of any references...I can totally foresee what my weekend is going to be like...I would fool around all through saturday...chicken out on sunday morning...realise there's a LOT of work left to be done...and very little time...hence i would panic...post some more self indulged "my-life-sucks-why-is-it-me-everytime-I-hate-myself"..blogs(I pity you,readers!!!).fret and thereby kill some more time...mentally curse myself a zillion times...chew nails(if anything's left to chew,that is!)...drive the whole neighborhood up the wall ranting like a lunatic and then...when my reckless insanity finally succumbs to sanity,I'll gather myself and settle down "to study" burn the midnight oil and finish the project...leaving the mugging part undone(will do it in the morning-it never works!)go to college still cursing myself for being an irresponsible freak...screw my viva...groan out in public...nag for sometime before someone snaps at me and therefore bruises my dignity...
its a viscious cycle I've fallen into...I've grown so used to this by now that it seems impossible to come out of it...