ennui

uneventfulness is a disgusting thing to deal with.i hate whiling away time doing absolutely nothing substantial and then later blaming myself for the same.and its incredible how exhaustive and elastic this 'nothingness' is.i feel spent and content everyday as i walk back home,having done nothing really to be so filled and exuberant about.i fear being a vegetable.inert.nonchalant.immuned against changing.i fear i would start living a life where today would be no better or worse than tomorrow.it would eclipse with tomorrow and the day before.its a terrible feeling,this!like a film stuck at a point and reiterating previous shots over and over again conjuring abundant monotony.
i need an exorcist to shoo bad thoughts off my mind.too many things on my mind these days.plenty to read,watch and visit.lots of things left undone.too many errands to run.stuff to purchase.plans to make.calculate.make note of.and too little time.
procrastination is probably not a trait you would like to rejoice over.but then,you are not left with much choice when it compulsively thrusts itself at you.submission then becomes the only way out.

the old road is rapidly fading...

my 'clairvoyance' informs me that the world is fast turning into a homogenised body.
i scowl inwardly and make calculations to dismantle the software i have installed lately.
this "i-know-what-the-future-holds" software [clairvoyance] is evidently driving me ballistic.
this is what it told me last night:
clair: the whole world is too caught up in building malls and multiplexes.they dont realise what they are coming to.its a case of the triplets' lost identity.they look unidentifiably alike and in the process of resembling each other have forgotten who they really are.each one thinks he is harry and clearly there is no telling who they actually are.
me:whaddafuck are you talking about?and what is this homogenisation shit?
clair:i am telling you.in a decade or two the whole world will look so alike that it will be hard to tell them apart.
clair:i mean,given the infrastructure and all will be pretty much the same,Kolkata wont be any different from Kuala Lampur.
me:you know you could probably be hanged for talking such baloney.i mean,do you even know how Kolkata is like.and that it is impossible for 'some things' to change?Kolkata and Kuala Lampur,indeed!(snort..chuckle..snort)
clair:all i am telling you is that things will be so dreadfully metamorphosed even a few years later,that it will be hard telling what is what.technology is an exhaustive phenomena.it doesnt stop at a mall or flyover construction alone.its a chain reaction and would only stop when there is nothing else left to make/build.its like a conflagaration that scalds everything to ashes so that each can be built anew.and your city,like the rest of the world is being razed,heaped into debris and new structures are relentlessly attempting to fit into newer moulds,nonchalantly kicking aside the calciferous skeletons aligning the roadway.
thus factories are ruthlessly torn down,workers mercilessly evicted and soon after the grime had been gently swept under the carpet,with the effortless 'swish' of bulldozers,a swanky spectacle adorns the sprawling premise, obliterating all traces of an erstwhile soot emitting,dark and dingy sweatshop.
roads are widened to allow more car space,regularly encroaching pavement dwellers and pedestrains alike.and flyovers towering over the cityscape create distressing bottlenecks prodding unending constructions of more such flyovers,pretty much in parlance with the age old logic of the crisis of a war being solved by another war and suchlike!
me:(raised eyebrow,eyes reflecting concern)but isnt there any way one could stunt the process,if not clog it completely?
clair:i fear there isnt much we can do.the conflagaration has begun.
unfurl your hands.the city you so tried to cling to,has turned to ashes.
tsk.tsk.
me:...