pffftt...

Vulnerability strikes past midnight, I have noticed.
Sometimes the internet refuses to work and I am compelled to stay up late and indulge in very cryptic Microsoft painting, and listen to 'Rocky Mountain High' a zillion times over which is all fine just that they conjure the most surreal dreams after I snooze off. But then, I aint complaining.
I have very tough times ahead of me. More than half the world population refuses to believe that I can make a fulfilling career out of studying Comparative Literature for my Masters. I find that particularly disconcerting mostly because I rather like the subject (the little that I know about it, that is) and the entire circumstance of being frowned upon and shown subtle disapproval is turning out to be very vexing. I also hate the fact that all this is working me up and egging me to think over my MA plans.
The entrance test questionnaire had absolutely bowled me over and for once I felt I was doing the right thing in life. It made me feel I was finally doing what I should have done three years back. This whole thing had been a very impulsive affair and you could say I went with my instincts and landed up in a department I least expected to see myself in even a few months back. My gut feeling tells me I can very well go kick a few smart asses if my going gets good.
If not, oh well I better not think.
You see, in the end, what should ideally matter is how utterly overwhelming the sense of accomplishment is. In my case, almost as had been apprehended, my sentiments on graduating weren’t exactly ecstatic. I did decently for myself, you can be sure. But somehow the sense of ‘accomplishment’, as it were, eluded me. The graduation has left me hollow with very little to fill myself with. The papers may proclaim me to be an honours graduate, but frankly, I know what to believe. The education wasn’t adequately enriching or maybe I was worst suited to be a historian. Ironically that seems to be the case with a lot of people around me. Funnier still, they seem to be unperturbed and wish to go on like this for another two years. Whereas I have been relentlessly plagued by bouts of conscience for about a year and a half now and refuse to keep mugging cartloads of unintelligible Xerox simply for the sake of earning another degree, anymore.
I would rather stay put with a discipline that arouses in me a sense of fulfillment once its over and done with. I would opt for this over anything else in the world even if that secures my life as a compulsive bekaar!

procrastination may not necessarily be one of my biggest unfounded talent,but i have realised its something i derive a lot of cheap pleasure from.the blog hasnt seen any new posts lately.but that shouldnt promptly suggest taht it has been lying slopped in one corner,unattended and unloved.the owner has been obliging enough to drop in once everyday all this while,even a couple of times when curiosity reigned supreme and it has also been given a much needed make over.the header happens to be my candidest representation.the rest are too make-believe and they do wonders to my otherwise acne prone skin.in short,they represent what i am not-a less flawed passable little beauty!
thus,this.
days havent been entirely uneventful.infact,i have had my share.a little more eventfulness,and i would happily trade my life.a blogmeet eventually happenned.so did propping pretty on The Park wash basin.leching at obnoxiously pretty women happens to be a pet obsession these days.but make up,too much of it,even if its on someone else freaks me out.especially if its glittery and blue and hideous.
the haircut happenned.what with inihos supervising from behind,no goof up tok place.the split ends were generously chopped off and the sides snipped mercilessly.i know am rambling but the hair cut,having happenned a year and a half later,was long overdue.so the tresses look managable.although i could really do without the fringes and locks dangling from either side.thank you.
oh and i graduated.yaayness to that.need i mention that i was busy speculating the overly bloated and intriguingly symbolic chicken ala kiev at Oly when the results came out?the rest of the evening was spent in the park loo with solo and also outside the golden dragon,deciding whether barging into a surprise party of someone i have never met(read,poojo c.),totally uninvited,should be a nice prospect or not.we decided against it.and the woman ended up having a nice party without any unwanted attrusion.so all is good.we are happy innocuous people.we dont rob people off their happiness.so there!
the firang tyash bangali fraand came and went.so did inihos.the latter will be much missed.no comments on the former.the Dee leaves tomorrow in a tortorous flight that promises to reach him to his destination in five hours flat,via ahmedabad!!!oodles of tch tch for the dude.
i would want another blog meet soon.
and thistime,lets not order that ala kiev again,okay?